going residential

I've decided. I'm going to a residential program. I'll be in full time for at least 45 days, maybe longer. One place has a step down program into partial hospitalization. I'm postponing (have to stop thinking of it as loosing) one semester. Mixed emotions. I just want to get well! and I will Inshallah. I'm so drained right now though from doing a long phone intake interview, so of course all I want to do is purge the quarter pear I ate.

to the blogosphere

To the blogosphere:

Confession: my food addiction takes on a particularly bitter and destructive form. Bulimia sucks! It has taken over my life and made the last six months a living hell. I'm now in an intensive outpatient treatment program. Struggling today, because I feel like it's not helping at all. So my treatment coordinator is strongly suggesting that I go to a residential treatment program. It would mean well, a lot of different things. I am so torn in this decision. I hope that this remains an anonymous blog, though honestly, I'm not particularly sure how to do that. Maybe I shouldn't post this. Just sick of being ashamed and fearful. And sick of being sick.