Backsliding

So a giant waving red flag for me is when I start watching weight loss shows. I have found a new one. "I Used to Be Fat" on Mtv. I generally loathe Mtv. Actually, based on the commercials, I still do. I am compromising though. I know I did not eat enough today, so I'm not working out.

I painted my nails while I watched this show online. I used that new mosaic effects as a topcoat. It didn't turn out as well as it did over the silver. Still, it looks good. I want to look good. I want to feel good. I know thin is not well, but it's hard to not believe that some magic number 50lbs from now isn't going to make everything ok. I know logically that it won't. I know that even 50lbs from now, I will still want another 20 and another 10 and another 5 even if I am an emaciated skeleton.